About Me

I am a wife and mom who has Martha Stewart aspirations and gets stuff done with the grace of Lucille Ball. I would love you to join me on my journey and maybe have some laughs along the way.

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The Hot Mess Life

August 03, 2009


Such a strange thing. I have been going through something lately that had gotten me thinking about the four letter word. It is so cliche to say, "I'm not where I thought I would be in my life." Alas, that is the situation I am finding myself in at the moment. Without going into too much about what is happening to me, because it is a very difficult and personal situation. I have hurt a lot of people and now am having to rebuild relationships and maybe even lose some that are very very dear to my heart.

Why do we do the things that we do? This of course is a loaded question, which I am sure many people have their own opinions about. I have been asking myself that little question for quite sometime now. Unfortunately I have many regrets in my life, and it has taken almost 30 years to realize that I should live my life in a way that I would not have any regrets. But, is that really possible? How would anyone know that they would regret something until they do it?

I have learned that not letting someone in and trying to hide and go through a difficult situation alone is not the way to go. Humans are a "pack oriented" species. We are not meant to go through tough times alone, which is why we have the ability to socialize and make friends. Is keeping something from someone because you think it is protecting them worse than letting them know? Is it selfish on your part because you feel so much guilt and telling the other person will make you feel better? I have wrestled with all these emotions. I don't know if there is a right answer, either depending on the person or the situation.

I know people say time heals, which I do believe is true, but it is a very painful wait for time to pass. How do you live until that time comes? Do you live in misery until the other party allows you back in their life like before? Will it be like before, and if not how different will it be? Maybe things happen for a reason to make you stronger and make you

So, here is to hoping that time does heal and that with that maybe a stronger relationship.